What I've noticed over this Lenten period is it is really, really LONG! And in its length some days I forgot I was even practicing it. I'm sure this is multifaceted for different reasons...
*I'm not in a community anymore, so the reminder withing a group and the conversations that could happen in that group are not happening.
*I'm not doing any email reminder that would prompt me to action on a daily basis as I've done in the previous years. I have a friend who worked for World Vision, I don't know much about this organization, but every Advent and Lent he would put out a small booklet through W.V. to bring awareness around the difficulties facing the poor of the world. How to take action, pray and meditate around such issues as:
-Chocolate and child slavery
I could carry this little guide around in my pocket and feel like I was connected to the greater whole- Not just my own inner transformation but directed outer to the world and others. I miss this Mark Pierson! Thank you for providing this gift for so many years.
What I discovered over the course of these last 34 days is that I'm still practicing even if it feels dormant. Yes, some of the biggies I thought I would focus on have all but disappeared from my practice, but other ones I realize I'm thinking about on a more subconscious level all the time. What I have noticed is I am still Lenting, even if it isn't a set 5 minutes morning, noon and night and even if I'm not documenting it.
This Lenten experience has drawn out a kindness toward myself that I was wanting but wasn't convinced I could actually make a reality. I have loved my body better with attention to nourishing food, times of movement and keeping my date with myself at the archery range for meditative shooting. I have remembered to breathe and try and stay actively aware of myself. This in the midst of working two jobs, both my teens birthdays, workshops, and family/political disagreements that have meant me doing a lot of self-work.
So if you are looking over these last days and wondering where the hell your time and focus went, be kind to yourself, because guilt never gets us anywhere. Plus maybe you like me have been engaging in Active Presence, meditation, and contemplation in a busy life. And maybe you have gleaned more than you realize.
If you are someone who is currently doing all you set out to do, that's good too. Just remember to let love be the center from which you do what you do.