Yes, the past is there and it affects or can affect how we see ourselves but it doesn't have to define who we are.
And other people can influence for good or bad how we are in the world - how we treat others and how we treat ourselves but we get to decide the outcome. Will we be loving, inclusive, forgiving, generous, etc? Or will we give back the ugly and anemic love that maybe we received? We get to decide what will define us!