I heal slow physically if a doctor says to me we will have you up and walking in 5 sessions and a 6th session if you need it I will take all 6 and still not be 100%. It's the way it's always been. I try to accept the slowness of the process, but it does get tangled in a mess of- but I do everything they tell me to do, I rest, I ice, I'm not doing this and I'm not doing that, and its costing way more money, ugh! I think it hits this tiny pocket inside me that feels broken, unfixable, beyond repair. I know that that's not the truth but it's hard to hold belief in Pain. I keep returning to my body and mind in quiet whispers (because they are linked in my healing) I say- you are worth healing, healing is for you and being pain-free is for you, its okay to let go, it will happen, I will be gentle with my words and thoughts, etc. So much of my life I have wrapped up in a painful ball all that was done to me and let it seep like poison throughout my body, mind, and soul not putting the poison where it belonged- outside of me. Gradually, I have learned to do this and love the change it has brought. I don't have the key to healing, but I do know that self-abuse doesn't speed up the process. I also know that love releases oxytocin, so I lean into love with myself and with every set back I try and return to love. That's what I have and with love I won't go wrong.