I am working at breaking the cycle of working to exhaustion.
I wish it wasn’t so hard
Didn’t take so long to figure out
I didn't have so many missteps along the way
And kindness towards myself was my first and only response.
But this a difficult and long process of letting go of the expectations known and unknown
I learned as a child
Was born with
And that I didn’t question sooner.
Now my approach has to be gentleness and curiosity with myself, my beliefs, how I “do things”, figuring out what I actually want, and what is important to me really.
The reason it has to be gentleness and curiosity is - I’m tired, bone weary, and my capacity for bull-shitting through the exhaustion is almost gone.
I know I’m not alone in this. I can see it in my clients, my friends, on the archery range, at the grocery store, in so many different interactions
There is a look that says
When Can I Stop Trying So Hard?
When Can I Stop Hustling?
When Can I Rest?
When Will My Best Be Good Enough?
When Will I Be Good Enough?
The answer is to all the above is NOW!!!
And eventually our hearts and our brains will have to catch up with each other and decide it's cool this not trying so damn hard and we won’t have to convince ourselves we’re worth it. We will know we are deep within our now (not so tired bones)
and treat ourselves accordingly.
We are worth the wait!