Always? Not hardly but that is the work -- to know myself, to like myself, to love myself. Why is it such a long journey to this understanding of myself and genuinely loving and liking who I am?
I wish I had the answer maybe it's because we are always changing and growing and this means we are constantly getting reacquainted with ourselves and this constant reacquainting gives us plenty of opportunities to fall in love again or for the first time with who we really are. Who we really are isn't going to let an opportunity for genuine love and self-knowledge pass us by.
So down the rabbit hole, we go over and over again as children, coming of age, in our teens, in our 20's, in relationships, out of relationships, getting married, getting divorced, as parents, empty nesters, in menopause, pretty much all the fucking time. We are gifted opportunities to know, like, and love ourselves anew, again, and in different ways, than we ever have before.
This is a beautiful and exhausting thing and there is a huge part of me that wishes we just came out of the womb with an unending supply of self-love that wasn't affected by anything - our families, friends, societies bullshit, etc. that what we were born wouldn't shift it would remain never faltering and never failing endless supplies of self-love.
But that isn't the way of things instead we take a lifelong journey of getting to know who we are NOW! Learning to Like who we are Now! And falling in love with this fallible human again and again and again.
A neverending groundhog day of self-love.
That's what we have and I'm learning to be okay with it not all the time but right now - today. I hope you can be okay with it too.