I will not be my own worst enemy. I will try not to be my own worst enemy. When doubt creeps in and I am uncertain and vulnerable and the fragile child inside me is exposed- I will not turn on myself. I will try not to turn on myself.
But it is hard! That unchecked inclination to bash myself against the rocks of life instead of gently enfolding myself in an embrace. It is a long journey to unreserved love of myself. Love that is there no matter what I'm feeling. No matter what's been said to me. No matter what's been done to me. Even if I've been a shit human, dropped all the plates, been a crap friend, parent, partner, I want my self-love not to waver.
I'm not suggesting that we go through life unchecked and careless but what we do shouldn't affect who we are at our core and the love we extend to ourselves.
Because
EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US IS WORTHY OF LOVE
And responding to ourselves in unlovable ways because we fail or have been told we don't have value because of XY & Z is doing the work of our enemies.
What I mean by this is people, parents, partners, friends, religion, society, etc. have said things that have shaped doubt in us.
caused us to feel deficient
broken
dumb
not worthy
ugly
worthless
That is the work of our own worst enemies. And it's time to start calling out that work inside ourselves. A little bit at a time. Starting with paying attention to what we say inside our own heads. Then just practice noticing those negative thoughts more and more often. Once we get good at the practice of catching those thoughts in the act then we can start to build a mindful practice of reframing those thoughts.
For instance, if you constantly hear- you are worthless. You can reframe that into something like- I have value, I am worthy of love. I am worthy. Or maybe one of your tapes is- I am broken. You can reframe that to- No one is broken beyond repair, I am whole, I am healed, I am strong.
When we start to pay attention to these lines of our enemies we are taking back our whole selves and owning our full humanity- all of it.
Loving ourselves doesn't mean we won't disappoint ourselves or make mistakes but it is catching ourselves before those become an indictment of who we are and our value.
Remembering
EVERY SINGLE ONE OF US IS WORTHY OF LOVE
Love,
Angie