Be gentle I say to my small vulnerable divine self. Because ultimately it's just you and me.
Just like a body doesn't exist without spirit no one can nurture me better than me. And that makes for a complicated relationship, a relationship that rests squarely on the shoulders of me. The same me that was brought up to not trust myself, my femaleness, my power, my voice, my everything. The same self that was raised on a steady diet of self-hatred and disgust. This same person is the only one that can gently raise me-
Parent me
Love me
Correct me
Nurture me
I know the truth of this deep down in my wisdom parts. I know lasting healing lies in my willingness to not only love myself but nurture myself- all of ME. Not only when I've got things figured out, but especially when my soft underbelly is exposed.
When I can't breathe because the weight on my chest is too heavy
When the self-doubt creeps in
When failure and the fear of it stops me from looking
In the grip of despair
In my child-self believing everything about me is a mistake
When my vulnerability looks and feels like weakness
It is in these sacred times that I need me. When I need the stillness that only I can provide. When the only way up is down into my divine self
down into the holy
down into the true
down into the fear
down into the child
down into the woman
down into death
down into life
I've built this trust gradually over the lifetime of ME and I will keep building until I am no more.
This is my story today, yesterday, and tomorrow and I'm guessing it is your story too. Maybe not word for word or pain for pain but nobody living and breathing makes it out of here unscathed.
Because
pain
wound
hardship
is where the light gets in and the nurturing begins.
Remember who you are.
Angie