Are you someone that always internalizes the disappointment of others?
Or assumes that the blame of anything and everything is on you?
Or have you been in relationships with blamers, shamers, friends, partners, or parents that used you as a scapegoat for what they couldn't or wouldn't own?
Whatever the experience and it's roots- IT IS NOT ALWAYS YOUR FAULT!
If it is your fault or you have a part- learn to own it and let go of what you can.
What others refuse to OWN isn't on you.
Another way of saying that is...YOU CAN ONLY OWN WHAT YOU CAN OWN! YOU CAN'T OWN SOMEONE ELSE'S SHIT!
One way I would use this mantra is to say it over and over.
It's not always my fault
It's not always my fault
It's not always my fault
Say it until you can see yourself in a different light, even if the light is not as strong as you want it to be. Just keep saying it every time you feel unnecessary blame for something. Often those of us who lean toward self-blame and guilt feel it even if the other person/persons aren't blaming us.
I have a thing I say to myself when I'm unsure of my part in a situation. I say this inside myself because I trust myself. "At this point I don't think I did anything wrong, but I am open to seeing something different if I need to. And apologizing for what I did. I trust you (inner voice) that you will let me know"
This leaves me open to
1. Myself and trust
2. The possibility that I was wrong
3. Trust- Again, I am rebuilding trust with myself that either way I can handle it
Take care of yourself.
Angie