Day 10 The Real Beautiful

Day 10 #reallifephotoaday My face! #therealbeautiful No make up, wake up hair, all natural.

I have a lifetime of wrestling with love for myself that is neck deep in childhood trauma, but for the most part has developed into a trust and deep love for who I am most of the time. Recently I’ve noticed I don’t like the way I look in photos. At first I thought it was just the way aging can catch you by surprise and you see the signs of a different face emerging from the face you’ve grown used to, but I am realizing it’s not that. It’s that I see my mother in my face. My most profound abuse and rejection has come from her and now I see her staring back at me from the mirrors and photographs (I’m going to write more on this in a blog soon) altering this deep love of self that I’ve fought for.

So what can I do? Where does this leave me, my face, and my self esteem? I will not go down without a fight. So the fight looks like a lot of looking in the mirror, a lot of no makeup (which in my world means no mascara), a lot of what I would normally consider unflattering pictures of myself.

I need to see me! And probably accept that she, my mother is in there as well. This what I know how to do is lean into my own vulnerability and let myself be exactly what I am #flawed

If I love that in you I can love that in myself.

You may not have the same issues, but whatever you’re working on or struggling with your TRUE self is worth seeing❤️

#theRealBeautiful #thisisreallife #reallifephotoaday #vulnerabilityproject