It's over, the 40 days of potential personal reflection is done. Now the eating and drinking commence ; ) How are you feeling on the other side?
Do you feel a deeper connection to yourself, the world, your Creator? Do you feel a greater capacity to love yourself and the world around you? Are you breathing deeper? Rushing less? Or did you notice a resistance to meditation, deeper breathing and time spent in love of self and humanity?
Me? I always feel a bit of a let down at the end of the 40 days. I guess that's an insight into my personality. I like a plan and a direction more than I like to admit.
Over these last 40 days I noticed a desire to love myself with a greater depth and capacity than I have in the past. I activated this love daily, which I don't think I've ever consciously done before. As a survivor of sexual abuse love of self is a lifetime work, but a work I'm committed to doing and I'm worth that work.
What I noticed is I have some self-talk that I wish wasn't still part of my inner vocabulary? There was a moment in this 40 days where I felt bad (like I am bad). This inner dialog surprised me, not because I don't know my painful roots and the potential for badness to show up uninvited, but I wasn't aware that that particular thread was still inside wreaking havoc in me.
Thanks to the beauty of awareness and reflection, when you are open for new insights, you are leaning in that direction and inviting revelations, new insights come. Often those insights will startle and surprise you. One of the benefits of opening yourself up and doing the work may mean the revelations might not throw you like they normally would.
The being bad thought that came out of the blue the other day surprised me, but didn't destroy me. I was sitting with friends at a music venue and when the thought came into my head I... looked at it let myself register the surprise sat with it maybe 30 seconds then moved on
letting my inside know I would acknowledge this belief and that it was safe for this belief to make it's presence known.
No one with me knew what was occurring under the surface. I wasn't hiding it but it didn't need to be a part of what was happening.
Also, I realized it was a gift to know on some level this thought is still there. Not to beat myself up, or be frustrated that I'm not farther along than I thought I was.
The gift is to hold that space for myself. Loving myself means giving myself room to feel and also acknowledge that the work will keep on going on.
Where did this last 40 days lead you? And how can you hold the space of self-care and awareness long enough for a new insights emerge. What can you give yourself that will keep the work going
Whatever you decide to do to pursue new avenues of self discovery you will not be disappointed because this is valuable time spent. You are valuable time spent! Knowing yourself better is valuable time spent! A little or a lot of this pursuit is valuable time spent!
When we know ourselves it allows us to walk through this world fully alive and fully owning our truest selves!
This is valuable time spent!