I complete me
This means as I am, I am enough. It doesn't mean I don't have growing and changing to do or that I don't need others/community to help me. But my arrival or completion as a person isn't found in another. In the acceptance of others. In the love of others. It is already-I AM COMPLETE!
This idea is not what I grew up with and I'm guessing you didn't grow up with it either. We as women are supposed to find our worth in a man, through the church, through helping, nurturing, creating life. Those things are good and fine, but not if our value as a person is dependant on someone else's assessment of us.
My worth as a woman was defined by the church, my family, school, friends, culture, sex, and in every other way. There is this thing that happens to us (women) that says we are not enough just as we are, that what we come into the world with doesn't measure up to the "standard" and we have to do more, be more, to just achieve what men are "born with". This supposed lack plays out in every area of life from sports, education, media, jobs, power, money, body, sexuality, clothing (women's clothes either don't have pockets or the pockets don't even fit a human hand. This is rooted in patriarchy), personality (too aggressive, loud, controlling, bitchy, you name it), movies, roles (what society says we can do EI. physically, emotionally {menstration, babies, menapause}), mentally (too emotional, not emotional enough, too up and down), and fill in the blank.
But we are complete! With or without another person. With or without a degree. With or without children. With or without religion. With or without a career. With or without whatever society is saying you need to have to be complete. YOU ALREADY HAVE IT! You had it at birth. Gender doesn't determine it. Race doesn't decide it. YOU HAVE IT ALREADY! It just is. YOU JUST ARE-complete.
You may not feel it and that's okay. Feeling our way into belief takes time. It takes changing our inner dialog to reflect our beliefs about who we really are and reminding ourselves when the "old standards" crop up what the truth is. It takes reframing. It takes gentle words. It takes lovingkindness. And gradually you will start to believe what has been the truth all along. You Complete You.
Love,
Angie